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A story
This is a long story my grandfather used to like to tell. It can be a challenge to tell right, but like all good kid's stories it has a lesson. I like the way the words come in cadence when the story is told and how it avoids being too real.
Yes it is gender and age discriminatory, but that is the way I always heard to story. Perhaps it would be more accurate if it were a young man, because I think young men are much more likely to go through the whole process than old ladies.
An old lady went to market one day and bought a pig. On the way home they came to a fence.
She said, "Pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the pig didn't jump the fence and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a stick and said, "Stick stick beat the pig. Pig pig jump the fence, or we won't get home tonight." But the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a fire and said, "Fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got some water. She said, "Water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, so the didn't get home that night.
The next day she got an ox. She said, "Ox, ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, so they didn't get home tonight.
[editor's note: It's starting to get crowded now on that side of the fence you see.]
The next day she got a butcher. She said, "Butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig or we won't get home tonight." But the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got some rope. She said, "Rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a rat. She said, "Rat rat gnaw the rope, rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the rat didn't gnaw the rope, the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a cat. She said, "Cat cat chase the rat, rat rat gnaw the rope, rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the cat wouldn't chase the rat, the rat wouldn't gnaw the rope, the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a warm saucer of milk. She place the saucer of milk in front of the cat. The cat drank the milk. The cat stopped and cleaned its whiskers. Then the cat chased the rat, the rat gnawed the rope, the rope hung the butcher, the butcher butchered the ox, the ox drank the water, the water quenched the fire, the fire burned the stick, the stick beat the pig, the pig jumped the fence, and they all got home that night.
Did I miss anything Papa?
Yes it is gender and age discriminatory, but that is the way I always heard to story. Perhaps it would be more accurate if it were a young man, because I think young men are much more likely to go through the whole process than old ladies.
An old lady went to market one day and bought a pig. On the way home they came to a fence.
She said, "Pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the pig didn't jump the fence and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a stick and said, "Stick stick beat the pig. Pig pig jump the fence, or we won't get home tonight." But the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a fire and said, "Fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got some water. She said, "Water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, so the didn't get home that night.
The next day she got an ox. She said, "Ox, ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, so they didn't get home tonight.
[editor's note: It's starting to get crowded now on that side of the fence you see.]
The next day she got a butcher. She said, "Butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig or we won't get home tonight." But the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got some rope. She said, "Rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a rat. She said, "Rat rat gnaw the rope, rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the rat didn't gnaw the rope, the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a cat. She said, "Cat cat chase the rat, rat rat gnaw the rope, rope rope hang the butcher, butcher butcher butcher the ox, ox ox drink the water, water water quench the fire, fire fire burn the stick, stick stick beat the pig, pig pig jump the fence or we won't get home tonight." But the cat wouldn't chase the rat, the rat wouldn't gnaw the rope, the rope didn't hang the butcher, the butcher didn't butcher the ox, the ox didn't drink the water, the water didn't quench the fire, the fire didn't burn the stick, the stick didn't beat the pig, the pig didn't jump the fence, and they didn't get home that night.
The next day she got a warm saucer of milk. She place the saucer of milk in front of the cat. The cat drank the milk. The cat stopped and cleaned its whiskers. Then the cat chased the rat, the rat gnawed the rope, the rope hung the butcher, the butcher butchered the ox, the ox drank the water, the water quenched the fire, the fire burned the stick, the stick beat the pig, the pig jumped the fence, and they all got home that night.
Did I miss anything Papa?