May. 5th, 2003

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I got the opportunity this weekend to go out to the place I learned to boulder. It was very nice: sunshine, rock, nice breeze.

It isn't exactly what people picture when you say "rock climbing". In fact if you're looking for nature, hard climbs, or extreme exposure just keep moving. It is the post-industrial slum of the rock world, a dead quarry with the garbage to prove it. But for people who are new, out of shape, or willing to bypass the easy holds it can provide some diversion.

I enjoy going out there and traversing or just playing. It has been years and years since I've climbed on anything like a regular basis so I just dub around in the sunshine. Sometimes it takes very little to make me happy.
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There was a girl I knew once, we'll call her Pam just for random labels. No, she's not really Pam. Anyway enough with the name.

Pam was an alternatively energetic and depressive young woman. She was part goth, part alternative, and had lots of dark tresses. If you really must ask, yes, I developed quite fascination with her. She wanted to cut her own path, work in the non-profit sector, keep her hair dyed black or purple.

One of my favorite memories is one day warm sunny day we spent together. We went shopping at the Saly Army, bought groceries, cooked a big meal in someone else's house, and just hung together. Actually there was quite a few times we'd just hang together. I remember one time when the big accomplishments of the day were doing dishes and taking the recycling in. In an apartment with four people where the former hadn't been done for a week and the later for months, that's an accomplishment.

She had a thing for guys, dumb guys. The more they treated her like dirt and made her feel worthless the more she glommed on to them. I kept trying to convince her that she was intelligent, cute, and worthwhile. She wasn't buying it. She wasn't interested in me, but I was hoping at least she'd get a bit of self esteem and get interested in someone decent. I didn't have much influence in the matter, I lived far away and I'm not sure I could have changed it if I'd lived next door.

The last thing I heard, she was engaged to a guy, who wanted to buy a house in the suburbs and pop out a couple of kids. He expected her to be a stay at home mom and bake homemade bread for him. The friend I wished she'd hooked up with was burning his brains out on coke and other things. Mutual friends thought Pam's guy was beating her. I don't know, maybe settling down and becoming conventional made her happy.

"Sometimes when supe was stopping crimes,
I'll be he was tempted to turn his back on men
Join Tarzan in the forest."

I first heard that song when I was driving down to visit her. There are some lessons in this life I really haven't liked learning.

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